With Grim Determination
by MathemagicianSVU
Summary: "One year ago, in Storybrooke, when you gave Emma her happy ending.. You also gave her your happy ending. Emma didn't exist when I showed you Robin Hood. It is possible.. she may be your True Love now." - SwanQueen pairing. Rating: T, but plans are it goes up to M. Post 3x11.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I had a pro-winter finale story in my head, so I decided to write it down. It's like the 1000th one, but I'm very much a fan of the musical Wicked, so I thought I could use my knowledge of that musical to write a story about Once, and our beloved SwanQueen.**

**I already rated it M, so people who aren't shooting for an M-rated fanfic won't be disappointed when it gets a little hot under the belt ;)**

**Well, I really hope you enjoy this! :) Let me know what you think and what I can do better.**

**(note: I took the part where Hook knocks on the door at Emma's apartment one year later out, because it just doesn't fit)**

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><p><strong><em>Chapter I<em>**

Regina Mills woke up with a start. It took a few seconds till she realized she was in her own bed, in her own castle. She heard a soft snore breaking the silence. Robin Hood was lying next to her in her bed. They started dating only a few months after they had returned from Storybrooke. It wasn't really because she needed the company.

One of her interests was Tinkerbell. She wanted the pixie to believe in herself again. Years ago she had shown Regina that Robin Hood was her True Love, and she hadn't given it a chance back then. She hadn't cared about finding love; she had cared about destroying other people's love.

Later, when she had cast the curse, she had adopted Henry in a desperate attempt to find love. And finally she had. She had learned to love again. It was a different kind of love; the love between mother and child, but it was still love. And it had been enough for her. She hadn't found herself worthy enough of finding her True Love.

She was a villain. Villains didn't deserve a happy ending. It was only a year ago, when their ways split that Henry told her she wasn't a villain. At least, not anymore. She was his mom.

She clung to that statement as she had asked Robin Hood on a date. She needed to convince herself she deserved a happy ending. But would she ever be able to have her happy ending, if her son was on another realm?

She turned away from the still sleeping man. She had dreamed about Emma. Those dreams confused her more than she liked to admit, but she couldn't help having them. She had tried to make them go away by using potions, but none of them worked. Sometimes the blonde was just an insignificant part of her dream, like a supporter, but sometimes she'd dream about their last encounter. She didn't know what the dreams meant, and that annoyed her immoderately.

When Regina had decided she wouldn't fall asleep soon anyway, she rolled out of bed. She wrapped a robe around her body and strolled through the corridors of her castle. Once she had embraced the cold of her castle, but now it only made her shiver. It made her feel more alone than she had been before. She now knew there was someone out there that loved her, although he didn't know it right now. She had given him memories that told him otherwise; that told him she didn't even exist.

In his world, she was nothing more than a fairy tale.

She stopped to lean on the windowsill, looking outside. She watched the stars, and thought about everything that had happened since she had said goodbye to her son; since she had deemed herself never to see her son ever again. She opened the windows and let the fresh air wash over her face. She closed her eyes as she enjoyed the coldness. She wrapped her arms around herself to create the illusion that she warmed herself up.

It was only seconds later that she noticed someone had graced her with its presence. She opened her eyes and saw one of her only friends; at least, she considered Tinkerbell one of her friends.

"You don't look so happy, Regina." She said, breaking the silence that tainted the still early morning. "It's him, isn't it?"

This confused Regina. Did she mean Henry or Hood? Or did she mean both? Both were keeping her up at night, but both for different reasons. Henry, because she obviously missed her son. She had learned the way to solve problems wasn't to just erase the memory off your mind. She had learned you needed to cope with it; to give it a place.

"I don't love him.." The brunette whispered, averting her gaze out of the window again. When Tinkerbell didn't say a word, her eyes met the blonde's again. She was biting on her lip, as if she was hiding something. "Do you know something?"

"Well.." She started, but it was as if something was holding her back. She was hesitating.

"I won't get angry with you, dear." Regina reassured her. "Just tell me." If the tiny woman really knew something, she wanted to know. Did her heart just turn into ice after they had been sent back to the Enchanted Forest?

"When I showed you Robin Hood as your True Love.. You know, a very long time ago." She paused, as if she considered not telling what she was about to say. She decided to do so anyway, because she continued. "One year ago, in Storybrooke, when you gave Emma her happy ending.. You also gave her your happy ending. Emma didn't exist when I showed you Robin Hood. It is possible.. she may be your True Love now."

Regina didn't know what she had expected to hear from the pixie, but she didn't expect this. It did explain the dreams about the blonde. It might have been her mind telling her subconsciously that she cared more about her than she had thought initially.

But still. She wasn't able to love Emma, was she?

"Your face gets all soft when you think about her." Tinkerbell stated.

"It doesn't matter." Regina sighed, trying to focus on a willow standing next to the water a few yards away. "I won't ever be able to see her again." There was a burning sensation in the back of her throat, and it took her a lot of power to sound as calm as she usually did.

She missed her son like she had never missed anyone before. Her son was well and alive, but didn't even know of her existence. In his mind, he had never had her as a mother, and the thought of that was unbearable. The old Regina, the Evil Queen, would have terrorized all civilians of the Enchanted Forest, but something had changed.

Someone had changed her into someone else. Someone had helped her becoming a better person; and turned her into someone who could be selfless. Someone had taught her to believe in the power of love.

The Savior started it all. Emma made her change. For years she had been angry with the world, trying to avenge Daniel's death. Nothing had ever stopped her from being the Evil Queen; killing people, tearing families apart and eventually casting the curse, until Emma came to Storybrooke.

She had never realized it, until they stood at the border of Storybrooke, awaiting the breaking of the curse.

"Rumor has it the Wicked Witch is getting stronger." Tinkerbell said, ripping Regina out of her thoughts.

"I still have no idea how she managed to get to this realm." Regina chewed her cheek in frustration.

"But if she was able to travel from Oz to the Enchanted Forest.." Tinkerbell started.

"It should be possible for me to travel to Maine again. Or even better, Boston." Regina finished the pixie's notion. She was playing with the thought in her head for a few weeks now. If only she knew how the Wicked Witch, Elphaba, had managed to get to this realm. She had an idea, but she wasn't sure if the rumors were true.

If the rumors were true, Elphaba was in the possession of the Grimmerie. The Grimmerie was an age-old book, consisting of both the darkest and most powerful spells. With the Grimmerie, you could be the most powerful witch or wizard. Although, there was one condition: you needed to have mastered the language it was written in. Only those who were worthy enough to know the language, could read it.

Regina needed to get her hands on the Grimmerie. She doubted the Witch would give it herself, so she had to sneak into her castle in order to steal it. But she needed help doing so. She needed someone to distract the Witch and lure her away from the Grimmerie.

"Tink, I need your help."

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><p>"Did you really entice Hook into seducing the Wicked Witch?" Regina asked visibly astonished. "What.." She wanted to ask her what she had done to persuade him, but when she saw Tinkerbell's face flush bright red, she decided she didn't want to know and waved dismissively. "Never mind."<p>

They watched Hook walking to the front door of Elphaba's castle from behind a tree. It wasn't really a castle; it was more like a castle shaped cabin, but it was too big to call it a cabin. Hook extended his hand to knock on the door.

"I should go." Regina whispered to Tinkerbell. "You are entirely sure the Grimmerie is in the back of the wooden structure?" She verified her information once more. When Tinkerbell nodded, Regina got onto her feet. "Tink?" She looked up into the brunette's eyes. "Thank you."

"Just make sure you find Emma." She smiled genuinely at Regina. "Now go, before your chance is gone."

While Regina was on her way to the back of the Wicked Witch's home, she thought about the gatherings the pixie and Regina had had the last few days. They had talked about the possibility of Elphaba attacking the people of the Enchanted Forest during Regina's absence. And since Regina was the only one likely to meet up with the green witch's powers, they would be in trouble if that was the case.

On the other hand, they had also concluded Regina wouldn't stand a chance, because her magic wasn't powerful enough to defeat Elphaba's magic. If they wanted to stand a chance against their enemy, they had to join forces again. Regina needed Emma. Together they would be strong enough.

Besides, she had sworn to Henry she wouldn't use magic out of malice again. She really wanted to be a better person for her son, although he didn't even remember she made the promise.

She had broken her promises in the past, but this time she really wanted to be a better person. She didn't regret casting the curse; destroying people's lives, because it had gotten her Henry. Unfortunately, it had also cost her everything she loved. She had had to give up Henry to the person who was supposed to be her arch enemy.

If she ever wanted to have Henry back, she needed to make amends; she needed to show the world she could be good.

Eventually, she reached the back window of a room she expected to be Elphaba's 'office'. When she looked through the window, she saw a small room with a desk in the corner, along with some book shelves. There was only one chair, next to the desk. It looked like someone had just occupied the room, but had left it in a hurry.

This had to be it.

She placed her hands on the downside of the window, and pushed upwards. To her surprise, it moved. She sighed in relief. Now she just had to find the Grimmerie and leave. Her intuition told her to walk to the desk instead of the bookshelves. She tried to walk as carefully as possible, not alarming the green-colored woman.

Her instinct was right. The Grimmerie lied open on the desk. As if fate had decided in her favor, there was a note next to it. The Witch had scribbled a word in the language Regina had mastered since her birth, and the rest was written in a language that was still a riddle to her.

Before she could even explore the piece of paper, she heard the door to the rest of the cabin open, so she did the first thing that came up in mind. She grasped the Grimmerie tightly, and murmured the words on the small piece of paper.

The last thing she saw was an angry and an astounded Elphaba, when a flash marked her disappearance.


	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter II**_

The next moment Regina knew, she was in the alley of a town, supposedly Boston. She checked if she still had everything on her. She wouldn't have expected that she'd leave for Boston immediately, but just in case she had packed a few necessities. She had changed her clothes into what American people would consider 'normal' and she had taken all of her American money that she had owned when they returned to the Enchanted Forest.

Above all, she still owned the Grimmerie. It wasn't so much for having the Grimmerie, because it was pretty useless during her staying in Boston. It was more that at least the Wicked Witch didn't have her book of spells on her to terrorize the citizens of the Enchanted Forest during her absence. She had to find a place to stash it away safely, so only she could find it back.

Besides, she couldn't walk all the way through Boston with a book the size of two Bibles; the big version, not some pocket version. She walked further back into the alley, hoping her magic would still work. She hadn't appeared in this world due to casting a curse this time, so she was hopeful.

She shoved the book into a crack between two walls. It wasn't a very eye-catching place, and with her spells she could make it appear invisible to the rest of the world so no one uninvited would find it and accidentally started casting curses all over the city.

After making sure that nobody was watching her, she waved with her hand, casting the necessary spell. She sighed in relief when she noticed it had worked. She still had her magic, which could come in handy in the future. She got onto her feet again and smoothed out her skirt.

Tinkerbell had given her some substance, that would make her find Emma. She had made it in the Enchanted Forest, and they couldn't test it, because they weren't on the same realm as Emma, but now she was, she could finally find out if it had worked. She silently prayed it would work, because if it wouldn't her quest to find Emma would be a lot more difficult than she had anticipated.

She took some of the substance between her index finger and thumb, like the blonde pixie had instructed her. It resembled powder, but it felt more like liquid. She rubbed her fingers against each other, dispersing the powder. It floated in the air for a second, until it flew into her chest. From then on she knew she would find Emma.

She started walking, knowing her feet would take her where she needed to be; where Emma was. She didn't know how the substance had worked, and frankly, she didn't want to know; she didn't care. All that mattered was that she would find the blonde that haunted her dreams. The blonde of whom she had thought was so different from the brunette, but was actually very similar.

When Regina was framed by her mother Emma believed in her innocence, but she had backed out when it was the easiest thing to do. When Regina was in the woods with Snow White, disguised as another person, Snow had wanted to forgive Regina. She had believed there was still good in her. For a moment - a short moment - she had wanted to go back to being an innocent. She had wanted to show Snow she could be good and show her remorse, but when Snow had changed her mind, and it became the easiest thing to do, she had backed out. She had chosen the shortest path; being evil.

They had both lost someone dear to them, taken away from them. The difference was that Regina had been the one who had taken Emma's future; her chance of growing up happily. She had destroyed a lot of families, but when she thought of what Emma had been through, she couldn't help but feel guilt. She had noticed the scars on her hand; she couldn't imagine the scars on the rest of her body.

She was the reason Emma still felt like an orphan. She was the cause of Emma's pain, of the fact that Emma could never trust anyone and never let anyone in. Anyone but Henry. Henry was her son; _their_ son. Someone that had been given to her because she didn't get to grow up like a Charming's kid was supposed to. But she had given him up. He wouldn't have had a future with Emma. So ironically he ended up with Regina.

Emma did the most selfless thing when she gave up Henry. Regina had done the same when they were standing at the border of Storybrooke. All they both cared about the most was Henry. Now Regina connected the dots, she realized they were perfect for each other. They were destined to hate each other; she was the daughter of the Evil Queen's nemesis. She had gotten to Storybrooke to steal away her son.

The son she had taken care of for ten years. The son she loved dearly, but didn't realize it until they were parted. Her image of what the blonde had been like had been affected by her hatred. Blinded by the hate she felt for Snow White, she had not seen Emma was the one who had caught her attention; who had awaken a side of her that she had stashed away for a very long time; since Daniel's death.

The woman had touched something within her, and it had shown quite literally. They had made magic together; caused an eclipse. Regina should have seen the signs. They were magic together.

She had told the woman she would kill her, but she never succeeded in keeping the promise. In the process she had almost gotten her son killed, and the curse had broken. Trying to kill the woman had only made everything worse. Besides, Emma had tried to save her time after time, despite the fact that Regina tried to kill her all the time.

Too deep in thoughts, Regina hadn't even realized the feeling that Emma was close was getting stronger and stronger. She was walking through a busy street, making her way through a crowd; people who were walking around, with or without a destiny. Regina had a destiny, and she felt it was getting closer with each step she took.

Finally, when it was already dark, she stood in front of a little diner. From what she could see from the outside, it was a very cozy place. She decided to step inside, with her own patented strut she strode into the place, walking to a booth in the back, the farthest of the door, so she could overview the place.

She roamed her eyes over the place, which wasn't very big. There were about ten booths along the wall, and a few loose tables filled the rest of the diner. There was a small bar, probably for take-home orders or to pay by credit-card for your orders. In the back of the place were the bathrooms, where she assumed Emma was right now. She had scanned the whole place, but hadn't seen her yet. The waitress made her way to Regina.

"Can I help you?" She asked politely.

"Apple cider, please." She stated, digging up a few dollar bills and set them on the table. If she needed to follow the blonde, she wanted to be able to go away immediately.

Only seconds after the waitress left, she heard the bathroom door slam shut. She turned her head around and saw the woman she was looking for. She was rubbing her jeans with a paper towel, obviously making the stain she tried to scrub away worse. "Damn it." She cursed. "I might as well throw it away." She walked back to her place, but on her way back her eye fell on Regina, who was roaming her eyes over Emma's body.

Normally she would have made a witty comment, but since they weren't supposed to know each other, she didn't. She needed to catch her attention, not chase her away. Being too occupied staring at one of the most beautiful and sexy creatures she had ever seen, Emma stumbled over a chair, knocking two others chairs over in the process. Emma cursed and put them back in place, still a little clumsy. Regina noticed Emma was blushing.

"Just apply a tablespoon of soda on it." Regina stated as a matter of fact. Emma looked a little confused, not immediately realizing what the brunette was saying, and if she was even talking to her. "The stain. Coffee, right?" She explained. That seemed to ring a bell with the woman.

"Oh, right. Well, actually it's hot chocolate." She stumbled over her words, making her way to Regina's booth. "Soda, you said?" She verified, a little more confident now.

"Yes. Just a tablespoon." Regina repeated patiently. "Then let it soak in for about half an hour, before putting it in the washing machine."

"And then it's gone? The stain?" Emma asked incredulously.

"Yes." Regina nodded slowly, keeping her eyes locked with Emma's.

"You might have just saved my favorite pair of jeans." The blonde smiled weakly, sighing in relief. "I thought I had to throw these away." She looked at the table as if she wanted to sit down, but wasn't sure if the brunette would allow her to. Her behavior was so different from what Regina had seen from her back in Storybrooke. She seemed intrigued by the brunette. "Can I?" She gestured at the opposite side of the booth.

"Please, take a seat, miss..?" Regina asked, already knowing the answer. Although Emma could have been married to another man in the year that they hadn't seen each other. She might have changed her last name, but Regina considered the chance pretty low. Emma wasn't the type to commit that easily.

"Swan. Emma Swan." She answered, extending her hand. "And you are?"

"Regina Mills." She shook Emma's hand. She was never the kind of person that shakes hands, but she didn't want to give Emma the feeling that she wasn't interested, so she did anyway.

"So.. you must be a mom that you know how to remove hot chocolate stains." Emma said smiling. When she saw Regina's face her smile vanished.

"It's complicated." Regina stated. She didn't want the woman to notice how much the subject that she had broached hurt her, and years of suppressing feelings; hiding behind a mask made her able to smile weakly, assuring the blonde she was okay.

"I'm sorry." Emma offered, looking at the table and chewing her cheek. Eventually she looked up, apparently with new courage. "Can I get you a drink?" She had just muttered the words, when the waitress set down the glass of apple cider on the table.

"One hot chocolate, whipped cream and extra cinnamon, please." Regina said to the waitress, before turning her head to the blonde in front of her again, smirking lightly. Emma's jaw dropped only a fraction of an inch, but she quickly recovered, narrowing her eyes.

"How do you know about the extra cinnamon?" She asked suspiciously. She had never seen this woman, so how could she know something so personal about her?

"What is hot chocolate without cinnamon?" Regina shrugged if off as if asking for extra cinnamon was as ordinary as washing your hands after using the bathroom. Apparently Emma wasn't totally convinced, because she kept looking at her oddly.

"My sentiments exactly." She decided not to question the woman. She waved it aside as a lucky coincidence. "So how come I've never seen you in this diner?"

"I just arrived in Boston." Regina answered, not elaborating on the subject unless the woman asked about it.

"Where are you from?" The blonde questioned, tilting her head slightly, looking deeply into dark eyes. Something fascinated her about this woman, and she couldn't quite put a finger on it.

"Maine. I take it you're from Boston?" Regina asked in return, trying not to put the attention on herself too much.

"Yeah, I grew up here, haven't left the city ever since." Emma explained. "You're on a business trip?"

"No." Regina sighed. "I just could use some time off. My relationship ended a few days ago."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Emma gave her an apologetic smile. "Do you have a place to stay?"

"Not yet. I was about to look for a hotel room after I consumed something." The brunette replied, taking a sip of her cider. "Would you happen to know a fit place?"

"Well, it's late.. so it's gonna be hard for you to find a hotel. A motel maybe." Emma said absent-mindedly, thinking of the best and nearest hotels. "I can write them down if you want me to?"

"That would be pleasant." She said, waving at the waitress, who walked towards them in an instant. "Can I have a notepad and a pen?" After the woman had nodded and answered in their favor, she came back with said notepad and pen.

Emma started jotting down names of hotels she knew of that were good enough for the brunette, along with some directions. As she did, Regina studied Emma's form. She seemed tense, but she couldn't make out if that was Regina's fault, or if Emma had been stressed out on something lately. When Emma was done writing hotel names on the notepad, she wrote a number down.

"If you can't find a place to stay, you can always give me a call. I have a spare room." Emma ripped off the piece of paper and slid it across the table towards Regina. She looked at it for a second, not believing she had just given her phone number, and looked up at Emma again, who was smiling.

"You don't know me." Regina answered somewhat incredulously. "For all you know, I could be a cold-blooded killer." The irony.

"Well, I take that chance." She said as she downed the remainder of her hot chocolate all at once. "I've got to go now. My son's waiting."

"You have a son?" Regina acted surprised.

"Oh, yes, I do." Emma smiled proudly. "He's twelve and very impatient. I promised him I'd drop him off at his friend's place for a sleepover and he's gonna be mad if I'm late, so.. Give me a call." She scrambled up, extending her hand again. "Good luck and you know how to find me."

Regina shook her hand. "And thank you for helping me out. Good evening, miss Swan."

"Please, call me Emma. Goodnight, miss Mills." She said with a grin as she turned to walk away. Regina watched the woman leave the diner as she dug up a few more dollar bills to pay for the hot chocolate. She mentally prepared herself to look for a hotel room as she breathed out.

This was going to be a long night.


End file.
